Nothing going on

 Nothing going on

At one point in my life, I may have had something going on. Something big and important. Now, I think I out spent my chances. So I have nothing going on. Well, I take that back. I do have to help my mom and dad. Both are elderly and they know need my help. I suppose the idea of helping my mom and dad has kept me away from that other “big deal”. It is what it is now. Water under the bridge. The moment has passed. I suppose I will just  be by myself now. I really did want the friendship of certain people that were previously in my life and have actually effected my life in a way.

Group therapy

I was thinking about going back to group therapy. However I doubt they will be there again. Certain people. These days I don’t even go into local bars anymore. I kinda stay in my house. I know thats not the way to “bump” into people. Or cross paths with people. I said I wanted to get involved in art galleries with my photography. Maybe I give up to quickly on things. I did hear one good incite into my behavior from one of the therapists at group therapy. She said that that I needed more confidence in things. I suppose that is right. I don’t really have too much confidence in myself or my abilities. That’s mainly what keeps me from being successful.

Those certain people

I kinda wish they would come back into my life and “bump” into me. They know about me and may even know more details that I know about them. They have effected my life in a way. However I never could make these people do anything for me. These people are adults and they have more ability than me. They would have to make the first move. I think though its over between me and the certain people I once had in my life. Its pretty much a big mystery to me. It does bother me that I don’t have any recognition by anyone over certain things and events. I pretty much keep things to myself. No one would ever believe me on what went on in my past.  I just know that I never was a bad guy over things, and I never did anything bad to anyone else. I can’t say for certain that this group of certain people tried to do bad things to me, because they were scared at what I may say. I am sure a few of the certain people were scared and tried to get me in trouble and may have done or said bad things about me.

It is what it is

I really did not do anything or anything wrong. I never did anything with intent. Maybe one of these people and I will cross paths again. “My one true friend will find me”. I am a good person, even though I was made to feel kinda bad.