Missed Opportunity

MIssed it

I probably had a really nice opportunity a few weeks ago, but I reacted incorrectly. Or I did not take that opportunity.  It was an incredibly nice gesture by one or more people. I was simply scared and confused at the time. I had the  feeling what it was, but that moment in time is passed now.

Friends

I seek friends most of all in my life right now. I would have liked to be friends with people a few weeks ago. If I am not in a stressful situation, I can be a very pleasant guy to have around.  I can actually be super funny too. Anyway, now I am kinda  on my own for now. Maybe in the future some nice people will consider hanging out with me in a different situation. I hope they will consider that. I hope maybe they will know about this site and read about me and look at my photography. To see what I can create.

Photography and health

These two things are my goals right now. I allowed my health to become poor. I over ate, and ballooned to 336lbs. I  became diabetic. I have lost 55lbs. I am now pre-diabetic. I want to continue losing my weight and reducing my A1C. I also want to start taking new photos again. I want to start traveling again. Hopefully I can take a road trip later this summer.

Connections

In hind site, I am very touched that certain people were considering and thinking of me. Just remember, if you are one of those that were around a few weeks ago. I treat my friends very well. I never talk badly about my friends ever! I am loyal or “True blue” as people may say. A few weeks back, I was just a bit emotional and confused. That is all. I said some  bad things about myself. that kinda spilled out in fear. Ill be honest, I have had bad feelings about myself throughout certain events. I’m not going to elaborate. I have had self-esteem issues. I am learning to be ok with myself. I am exercising and trying to lose weight.

Self Critical

I do think I am self-critical. There are times I felt that I was sub human. Or not as good as many people. I never think  I am better than others, thankfully. I hated myself for a few years. I kept putting on the weight. I still don’t like how I look in the mirror. I try to avoid photos when I can. I am working on getting down in weight though. I want to be confident in my appearance. So that I can be more social and funny like I used to  be.