Learning not to upset myself

I am learning

I often beat myself up the most in life. Mentally, I beat up myself and it often effects my physically. Off and on in my life, I have had strangers intersect my life. There were times when these strangers were causing me mental issues. I do beat myself up over my past and events that happened in my past. The pain I make myself feel is almost crippling.

Trying to let go

Last night I did another exercise while laying in bed. Meditation maybe. Trying to let go of all the strange events in my past that outsiders caused. I was not expecting them to show up in my group therapy. It was an awkward environment to show up at. I would not mind meeting up with “my true friend”. Maybe at my local library or something. Somewhere quiet, where I can focus my attention on them. I really would like to have closure on all the strange events I have been having. I am not exactly hard to find. They know where I am at if they want to ever reach out again, at a calmer environment.

I can’t change the past

I really have to stop getting upset at the past. Its pointless, I can’t change it. One good point is, I never did anything wrong to any of these people. Even though they may have been doing bad things to me. Trying to get me in trouble, or causing me psychological harm. I have a feeling some of these people were trying to get me in trouble. I had done nothing wrong. I suppose also I have to shake this guilty feeling. My self esteem needs a little break and building.