It’s not normal

The people that get on TV

Again, this ties into what I was posting the other day. People that want to get on TV are not normal. I suppose if I could go back to my twenties maybe, maybe I would think about doing something to get on TV. However I was always pretty reserved and shy. I was a good looking guy when I was younger so I was not really avoiding things like face to face social meetings. I tend to do this now a days. I am 53, fat, balding. I don’t like how I look. I think I am ugly and people gasp when they see me. This is why I am bad at face to face friendships. I am aware that I am ugly and I don’t like to  be seen that much. This phobia has caused me to miss many opportunities. I am better over the phone and my online presence. I am seeing a therapist that says she will help me try to accept myself. She better be convincing. I really think she has a tough job ahead of her.

Going back to group therapy

The most social thing I do is goto group therapy. It’s supposedly a safe place where I can show myself. I am pretty close to calling the phone number and getting back into the sessions.  I have nothing going on. Lots of time on my hands.  Ill go back to therapy and maybe there may be “certain people” there again? Not sure, maybe just nice people that I can learn from? I have to get the nerve to call the therapy phone number. I do like how the therapists talk about mental health concepts. How the human mind works etc….

I have my parents, but I am kinda alone

I have two great parents and I talk to them each day. I live with them. I help them out when they need help. I can talk about most things with them. I rather not talk about certain things with my parents. This is why I would go back to group therapy.  I don’t really have any face to face friends that live near me. I am trying to build my support network a little. It gets awkward when you  get older to make friends it seems. Friendship takes time. You can just jump into a friendship. I am going to be more receptive to people I meet face to face.