I just don’t fit in

I tried

I tried but I don’t fit in. I was at the gallery yesterday, but it was awkward. Maybe I should give up trying to be social. Maybe at 50 years old, I should give up trying to  be social. I am worried what happens to me when my family is no longer here. I may end up alone by myself. I went to the galley in hopes of seeing if any of my “friends” would show up. I only lasted at the gallery for an hour or so. Then I got awkward, and I left.

I missed my chance

I doubt that one “friend” will find me. I missed my chance at the grocery store deli. I really should have engaged that lady in conversation. I got nervous and left her mid talking. I think after that, “my true friend” will have given up on me. I doubt anyone that knows what was happening to Christopher Gerhard Trott is actually reading my pitiful posts on this website. I doubt anyone really cares anymore. I think my “friends” were worried that I would say something specific on social media. I was on Twitter mainly to promote my photography. No one seems to care about my photography either. I have had zero success doing anything with it. I really am mad at myself for missing my chance to get some questions answered and to meet someone who considered me a “real friend”.

My health and my family

Currently I really do have to pay attention and get my diabetes under control. I don’t want this disease to take away vital body processes in my body. I don’t want to let this diabetes get worse and take my limbs or my eyesight. I am so thankful that my eyesight is near perfect at 50 years old. Without my perfect eyesight, I would not be able to create my photos. So I am highly thankful for having good eye sight. I have to concentrate on my family and my health. I may have some family business to attend to in Florida soon. Not sure.