I blew it

I blew it again

That lady at the deli counter, the one waiting with me, she was sent to talk to me. I guess I blew up another deal that they were making. I was rude because I did not address her back after I had turned away to put something in my shopping cart. So that deal of “your true friend will find you” seems like its off the table now. I do question how my “true friend” was or is?

Living in sensitive situations

In my life, off and on I have been living in sensitive situations. I think at one point my words mattered to certain individuals. I was under a microscope and I did not know who was viewing. I don’t think I was ever super rude or off the top, but my innocent comments turned people away. I was living on egg shells. Now my brain is wondering if people will meet me at the deli counter again. It would be nice to let them know that I am still interested in getting to know whoever it was on that one end of the microscope. I write these blog posts on my personal website to let them know I am still thinking about all those strange occurrences. I would like a little inclusion into things. I am a fairly decent person, I don’t find myself a criminal and I have a fairly decent head on my shoulders. I also have talents like my photography. I could be an asset to the right people.

Discretion is understood

I am all about discretion. I feel like things were happening to me and some people had some very bad ideas about me and what to do about me. Things way worse than what I would wish on anyone else. I was effected in my life by certain things. Am I a Rittenhouse? Hell no. By Rittenhouse what I mean is am I criminal that does bad things and gets some type of fame and a chance to meet “big people”. Then again Rittenhouse is a piece of shit and he meets other bigger pieces of shit. But what I mean is I have done nothing bad to invoke any type of popularity of “fame”. I understand that things were happening to me and my family because larger people were scared of me in a way, and did not want me talking about certain things on social media. Thats were my discretion comes in. I was on social media only to promote my photography. Which is not helping me one bit.

Just a man in the basement

Currently I am just a man in the basement of my parents house. No shit. I sit here and  blog about my missed chances and how I may or may not have been a semi popular person with various people. Ill tell you one thing. I am no scumbag criminal. I am not one to do stupid things to  get attention. Anyway, I have no idea if anyone from the group would reach out to me again. I am keeping my eyes and ears open. My problem is I don’t go to many public places. So they can’t “bump into me”. Every since COVID I have been pretty much housebound. I even stopped going to the local taverns. I pretty much write on this website from my parents basement.

I never could tell them what to do

To this group, I never could tell them what to do. I am left with questions as to why certain things happened. I very much would like some inclusion. I think that as a friend, I could be an asset. I just need a chance to shine. If I did not totally piss them all off for whatever reason, I will be doing my thing in my general area. Keeping my eyes and ears open. Maybe someone will engage me in conversation at the grocery store, or hard ware store. I would be very interested in being included.