Going back to group therapy

I need to be with different people

I have been to Ingalls Hospital’s Outpatient group therapy a few times before. A few times I was in the sessions with certain people that seemed helpful. Currently I feel a bit isolated . I have my parents that I live with. I talk to them. However there is only so much I can talk to them about. It would be good to have the feed  back of strangers and the therapists at the Ingalls group therapy program. I do enjoy hearing about how  the mind works from some of the therapists. Learn some coping skills. I doubt that “certain people” would be in my future attendance there. I will go to group therapy most likely after August 1st.

I have been in a depressive state

I have been pretty depressed for weeks. I feel pretty bad at what I have become at the age of 53. I feel like a total loser and I feel that I am alone. I don’t want to be alone in the future.  God forbid what happens when my parents are no longer alive?? I fear being alone in the house. I know I made my choices in the past when it came to face to face friends. I wish I could go back in time and change my thinking and to be more receptive in certain peoples way of approaching me.  I really would like their friendship. I hope that I am in these people’s good standing. I don’t see how I could have done anything to anger certain people.  I am not really a type of person to go around and anger people. I do put people off when I first meet them. I am a tad annoying, but I think once people get to know me face to face, I am semi witty and I have a sarcastic humor about certain topics. I get my sarcasm from being alone most of the time at my computer and making up my “clever” takes on various topics. I try not to be mean about my assessments. I suppose I tend to dwell towards the negative which I try to correct myself from doing when I see I am getting too negative. I try to be self-aware.

Seeing an individual therapist

I am also going to see a one on one therapist. That appointment is coming up on July 29th. It won’t be an in person meeting, but rather a video conference meeting. I guess therapists don’t meet in person anymore. I will talk to that therapist about my past. Past events that still make me feel weird. Past events that I cannot explain.  Between Ingalls Hospital and this one on one therapist, I hope to unravel the mysterious things that have happened to me and move on from all the strange things that has happened to me in my life. I want to start feeling and being semi “normal”.