Dissapointed

I am disappointed

Like I posted before, I had a strange past. I most likely crossed paths with a certain group of people. My self-esteem took quite a hit for many years, also just the awkwardness of events in my past. I am pretty sure that my computer and phone had  been tapped. I am also sure my emails have been hacked.  I simply have questions and I was made to feel excluded from certain events and people.

I am also depressed

I am depressed at my life at 51. I have not taken any new photos in over 4 years. I really have lost interest in hobbies and various other activities. This group of people pretty much came into my life, made many awkward instances, and left me alone to deal with the memories of past events. I am just depressed. My lack of success with my photography and photo skills also adds  to my depression. I am diagnosed with Bi-Polar 1 with psychosis and await my Social Security Disability claim. I have been waiting for over 4 years now. I see others become successful in life, and all I have to show for my life is this stupid website and my photos that I can’t afford to get printed and displayed in galleries. I feel that I missed out and am a loser.

Trying to network

I am trying to network with various Chicagoland art galleries. Soon I will start to approach galleries with my portfolio book. Face to face networking is hard for me because I have a very low self esteem and I feel that I am fat and unattractive to even set foot in a gallery. Soon, I will try to visit more galleries and present my portfolio book.

Bad people becoming successful

What makes me sad is when bad people become successful. I see them all the time on TV. Ill give a good example. Donald Trump and his whole family. They all have more money and have seen more places then I ever hope to. Almost all the Republicans on the hill. All successful, they are all flawed and damaged people Bad people. Corrupt to the core. I am a good person, where is my chance?? Why doesn’t anyone invest in me??? Invest in my art and my skills? I am am a true loser and sucker.