Writing in vain

I am pretty much stuck

I am stuck at the parents house. I live with my elderly parents. Currently I have no funds to go anywhere or do anything.  I was waiting on my Social Security Disability claim. It’s been denied again. I suffer from Bi-Polar 1. I am trying to manage it with medication and I also go to therapy. Living with my parents is probably a good thing right now. I am helping my parents around the house. My mom is not too stable walking. My dad just got back surgery. He also has problems walking. I feel good that I can do daily things for them. Lift heavy items, get their prescriptions from the pharmacy, do clerical work for my dad. I am the home technical support for all electronic devices in the house. I suppose my parents need me to  be here and I remain here.

I am simply taking up my time

I have a computer room in the basement of my parents house. So I spend 96% of my day down in the basement behind my computer screens. I have not been eager to go out and take new photographs so I add to this website in text. Just my daily thoughts. For awhile I was trying to get affiliated with local art galleries to have them display my photography. However it is hard to insert yourself into a clique of people. At least I always had a hard time networking for job purposes or any purpose. I am not good with face to face meetings. Me not being good at face to face interactions with people has pretty much kept me in the basement of my parents house. Id like to be more “face to face friendly” but I find it gets harder as a person gets older. I stopped trying to get my photography noticed by art galleries. Instead I sit behind my computer monitors and maintain this and other websites.

Getting out of the house

I know that I won’t be able to interact with new people if I sit in my parents basement. So one Friday out of the month, I sit at the Lansing Public Library for three hours in the morning. From 9-12noon. I do this to people watch and read a few magazines. Also I am at the library with the hopes of meeting “my one true friend” . Certain people associated themselves with me in the past and I am hoping they reach out to me in the future again. Its a long story and if I were less lazy I would write a book on my past and past events. It may be an interesting read for some people. However the memories of my past events push me to write endlessly on this website about “certain people” and “my one true friend”.  I am sure that people who don’t know what I went through in my past would think I am a little off. Anyway, I try to get out of the house and I am open to a face to face meeting with “my one true friend”. That time at Jewel’s deli counter was a bit surprising. I was actually flattered that someone took that extra effort (I have no idea how they tracked me). It was mainly the wrong response I wanted to make to that lady. I make my presence known on this site on the days I am at the Lansing library. I have no idea if these “certain people” know about my website or even paying attention or care about me anymore.