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Worried about my health

First time in my life

I never worried about my health when I was younger. I ate and drank what I wanted when I wanted. How much I wanted. I never got into drugs. So I have that going for me. I never even smoked weed. I was sheltered from that by my parents. I did drink a bit back in the day. I stopped any drinking too now that I became diabetic.

Being diabetic

I was upset upon the news from the doctor that I was  diabetic. I was pissed at myself. I thought only people who ate lots of sugar all the time became diabetic. I was wrong. I had no discipline with my eating. I ate large portions and frequent. So I  became diabetic. My A1C was 7.3 at its highest. I heard that an A1C of 7 was the “golden” number. Meaning you are diabetic but did not do any permanent damage. I was freaked out and hit the treadmill for 25 mins each morning and did not eat any carbs. I lost 50lbs at first. Since then I became lazy and the shock of being diabetic has worn off a bit. At first in August of 2021, when I first learned of my diabetes, I reduced my A1C from 7 to 5.9 in 4 months. I was able to  get off of metformin. I then became lazy and let my A1C goto 7.3. I am now back on metformin with my A1C 6.5.

Anything but my eyesight

I heard about the horror stories about people with diabetes at a bad stage. Losing limbs, wounds that wont heal. Also having issues with their eyes and eyesight. Since I am into visual arts I would feel dead if anything premature happened to my eyesite. At 51 years old, I barely need reader glasses. I am stubborn to wear my reader glasses when I really need to. I try to force my eyes to focus. My hair has been going,  I am fat. Please God don’t let my eyesight diminish! I am not done creating images!


I am worrying over my health now a days. I am obese, I am kinda keeping off 40lbs. I still should lose more weight. I am working on it. Now that I have diabetes, I got a urine test and full blood works from the doctor. My urine test came back that I may have the beginnings of kidney disease. Fuck. I am also monitoring my liver enzymes. I think that old Chrissy boy is falling apart. I hope that I can somehow see different places while I still have my health. Currently I am totally broke. Just sitting in my parents basement and slowly decaying. I wish I can meet a person that could give me a method of travel to other lands. It is not wrong to dream. My motives are semi innocent.

Chris Trott

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