
Things I want
What would satisfy me
Things that I want in my life have changed over time. When I was a young child, I just wanted my mother and father to remain well and to take care of me. I wanted friends. I was always social. In my twenties I wanted women. I did like to date women and be clever and romantic with them. I think I was always a gentleman and I always considered my partner’s feelings in everything we did. Even when it came to intimacy. I was never a goon or a creep. At least I don’t think I was ever creepy. Looking back I wish I had had more intimate relationships. However I can’t go back in time, and what I had is what I had. I will lump my thirties and forties together. Now that I am 52 I don’t really think of myself as older. I still am kinda immature. I wanted lots of money. I am talking millions. I really think I am old enough and responsible enough to own millions of dollars. What would I do with my millions?
My millions
If I were a millionaire, what would I do with my finances? Depending on how many millions I would have, I would buy a modest house out West. Santa Fe, New Mexico or Utah. Somewhere in the American Southwest. The house I would by would be an adobe house with the rustic wooden beams on the ceilings inside. Then I would want to rent out portion of a warehouse near my modest home and have a car collection. I would love to own more than one car. Exotic cars, sports cars mainly. I would spend my time driving through the deserts in my pick of car. With my millions I would try to make some upper level friends as well. I would not want to be alone with my millions. I would want a support system of solid friends. It would be cool to have some well known friends that I have their confidence. I am good with discretion. I know how to keep things low key. Finally I would travel. I would road trip within the United States and Canada. Fly into Mexico. I would explore Europe and Asia. maybe even visit the Middle East. Travel will be part of my second half of my life. As long as I am able to travel.
In reality
Currently I have no funds. I am awaiting my Social Security. My lawyers have fought hard to get me a second hearing. I hope I get it. It would be helpful. In reality I don’t have millions. Also money is not everything. Health, mental health, love and friendship are much more important that millions of dollars. However if I were to have millions of dollars that would not hurt either. I would not be stupid with my money and I would invest it properly. In reality I don’t think I have any real money. I don’t think my family has any real money. I will try to play lottery from time to time and dream.
What I spend my time with
Since I don’t have any real money, I am kinda stuck at the parents house. I help my parents daily. I also keep track on my health. I goto the doctor every three months for bloodwork. I am diabetic and I don’t want my diabetes to get worse. Even though I want a lot, I keep grateful and concentrate on immediate small daily things. I try to watch my diet take my medications. See my doctor. Simple things. I think lots of people take lots what they have naturally for granted. I am grateful that I am mobile. I am grateful that my eyesight is near perfect. I am grateful that my lovely elderly parents are still alive and with me. I am grateful that my diabetes is not that bad. I am grateful that I am not in constant pain. Simple things that hopefully satisfy me for things that I am missing out on.
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