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My true friend

The lady at therapy

She was a nice lady. Very attractive. She was one of the group therapists at Ingalls in Harvey, Illinois. She said “my true friend will find me”. Not sure what that meant. I thought “my true friend” approached me at the deli counter at Munster Jewels. I think they were linked, however I was kinda caught off guard at the deli by this nice woman. So I did not know what to do and turned my back on her in mid conversation. I hope I did not offend that lady at the grocery store and the person she was linked to. I feel that was my true friend. It was a mis judgment on my part and I hope that “my true friend” will still be linked to me in my future.  Since I have no idea who that mystery friend is, I am writing this out on my blog. With the hopes that my true friend or someone she is linked to will remember my name and check this website out. I know I sound crazy, but my past may have had interesting people come in contact with it.

Just writing this out

Just writing this out. I did a lot of strange things in my past. One thing being running away from home. I first ran away to Seattle via the Amtrak Empire Builder. I came right back. I then ran away to St Paul, Minnesota via the Greyhound bus. I came back after a day or two. I ran away to North Dakota and bordering Saskatchewan. Came back. Ran away to ElPaso, Texas then to neighboring Ciudad Juárez, Mexico. That was a dangerous place to  be. I got back across the border again.  I ran away to Sydney, Australia via OHare (ORD) airport to LAX then to Sydney. Came back after two weeks in Sydney. Those were the sum of my strange things. I think during those trips my life came in contact with other groups of people. I was a scared person at the time and mentally not balanced.

I am now an old man

I may have had my life in danger a few times in my life. Not sure. I am sure when I was in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico I was in a dangerous position. I am 51 years old and I don’t run away anymore. However, now I find myself stuck in this same place. I have regrets. Maybe when I was running away I should have kept going? Would my life have been better or more fulfilling?  I will never know, because I was too scared to continue. I was not trusting. I guess not trusting people was a mistake in my life. I feel that I have wasted my life at 51 and am continuing to waste my life by being stuck in this same house and this same place. I had my choices.

Maybe something new?

Maybe at 51 something new will come along in my life? Not sure. I think I will have the courage to go forward and keep going if it does.

Chris Trott

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