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I’m not confident in my looks

One thing that has held me  back

As I have gotten older, I have withdrawn myself away from social environments. When I was younger, I was thinner, had hair and was a pretty good looking guy. People wanted to hang out with me and I was accepted anywhere. As I got older, I had issues with certain people and the strange things that happened to me, made me withdraw from being face to face with people. I let myself go weight wise. My hair started to thin on top. I really don’t like the way I look and this prevents me from going into various social arenas. Also this keeps me from promoting my photography face to face in gallery settings. I think I am ugly and people don’t really want to talk to me. I can show a portfolio booklet of my work. Which is pretty good stuff. But my looks keep me back.

Ill probably never be successful

I keep to myself and I have started staying in the house. Most of my days, I would say 95% of the day, I am behind my computer in my parents dark basement computer room. It’s where I program this website and rework photos that I have taken in the past. My Adobe Photoshop skills are professional level. I have tried to get hired in companies, but I think my fat and ugly looks kept me from getting any jobs. I feel that attractive people get better jobs. Anyway, I gave up on getting employed as a graphic designer or photographer. I am 52 and no one wants someone that old.

I am ugly and I probably scare people away

I think people see me and think I am sloppy and not a nice guy based on how my face and head looks. I am not a bad guy, and it’s hard for me to attract people that want to be friendly or friends with me in my adult life. I may have had “big friends” in my life, but they were all scared off by me. Maybe I mis behave too. Dunno. I think I rub people the wrong way on accident as well. I would never be mean with people, but I think people think I look like a mean guy. I am just fat and sloppy. I gave up on myself decades ago. I really wish I would have acted different at Ingalls group meetings. I think these people are done with me and not going to reach out again. I messed up the encounter with that lady in the Jewels deli area. So thats not going to come my way again.

Chris Trott

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