I suppose I chose my family

In  the end I chose my family

I suppose I could have had face to face meetings and been in more exciting places than where I am now. All the events that came and went, I was loyal to my parents. I chose them to spend my last decade with. I know that its not healthy to look to the past. We all should look to the future.  The events of my past, did scare and concern me. Maybe I was too shy or frightened to move out of my comfort zone and meet certain people that came into my life. Maybe I was not confident enough? I often beat myself up over things in my past and that is really  not fair to me. I honestly had no control over certain events that altered my life or at least altered my thinking and personality. Altered just how I  thought of myself and others. I have something that many billionaires and famous people and successful people may not have had. I have a loving family. I have a beautiful and golden pair of parents. I have a loving sister. I feel very lucky to have my close family. Maybe I was not ready to meet certain people? I don’t know really what certain people think of me. I suppose the only person that I should be at peace with is myself and my choices. Where love is there can’t be any mistakes. 

At 52 years old

I did my fair share of fucking around. I pretty much am a slacker and a goof ball. I have wasted some time, did goofy things. I have not been traveling as much as I would have liked to. I am hoping my future will have travel and new friends in it. I hope that I am confident enough in myself and strong enough to accept someone who is reaching out to me. We will see. I am 52 and I consider myself at the “half time” in my life. I will still probably be in the United States unless something or some one or people attract me to other lands. Right now I am trying to stay healthy. Physically and mentally.