I ruined lots

I ruined lots of things in my life

I keep reflecting on the past and all the opportunities I pissed away. I was not thinking straight and I did at the time feel vulnerable. I don’t know who these people are but I feel they are “done with me”.  I think I would have been a whole different person if things had not happened. I really did want to be included into certain inner circles. I was just to scared to get out of my comfort zone I suppose. Maybe now that my name has  been out there among certain groups, I may have an opportunity in the future. If I have not pissed off and frustrated all of them. I did take my hits in the past.

Bookworm

I think in addition to Friday mornings, I will be hanging out at the Lansing library more often. I don’t have anywhere to  be and it is a peaceful public place to maybe  bump into “my one true friend”. Maybe “my one true friend” thinks I don’t want any part of them. That is not true. These people know where I was shopping, and they know my general area. I am sure they would know about this website and where my local library is. We shall see. Ive been waiting a while, so Ill be making regular visits to the library as my way of being in the public and maybe bumping into certain people. I won’t be going back to Ingalls therapy to attempt to bump into them again. I think that was a one shot deal.

I don’t want to be isolated

In my future, I don’t want to be isolated from certain people. I am thinking towards the future, if in the event I don’t have my parents in my life anymore. I really could use the support system and gain a few face to face friends. I know with these people that discretion is key with these people.