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I just feel numb

I feel numb

I am 51, things on my body are starting not to work as they once have. My libido is down, no big deal, I have no one close to have sex with. I have diabetes. I think maybe I may have the early stages of kidney disease. I have to talk to my doctor about my latest blood work. I guess at 51 things may start falling apart in a person’s body. I still have these memories of mysterious events that I have not had resolved.

Letting everything go

I guess I will never know about these mysterious events in my past. I will never have them addressed. I just want simple conformation on what happened over the years, thats all. No compensation really. It would be nice to get some compensation down the road. Or a helping hand when I may be struggling. A friendly encounter of one of these “big people” that were part of my past.

No resolution, its ok

I accidently thwarted many chances of having my life go on a different path. I suppose everything that happened and the people that were involved was all my fault. I suppose I will just blame myself for everything. Ill continue to live my life in my region of the South Suburbs and near Northwest Indiana. Ill mainly try to focus on keeping healthy. It’s all I have now. I really wish I would have went through with at least one event in my past where I was close to these certain people. I may have learned something meeting them. I am all for learning new things and seeing new places. I guess if I had went along with certain things in my past, I would have already seen other places with these people.

If I ask of anything

If these people still follow me or read about me on this silly blog, I would ask of them. I would love to see and experience other places with them. My motives are semi innocent. Financial compensation would be great for past events. However what I really want is the gift of travel and adventure while I still am mobile and have my health. If I can somehow write out and explain that my main motivation in meeting with some of these people is to use them as a vehicle for me to see many places on this earth. This is my only motive.

Chris Trott

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