I don’t care anymore

I don’t care anymore

I put my life on hold for over 5 years in hopes to get my Social Security Disability. My last judge called in sick on the day of my first phone hearing last June. That delayed me till last October. 4 months. Then we had the hearing. She was rude and abrupt. My lawyer said there is a good chance I get it with the mental notes and medical evidence also what the Federal judge wrote about my case. My lawyer said in October that normally the decision would take 2.5 months. Its now been 4 months. I am pissed off and sick of waiting! I put my life on hold for this bullshit.

My medication

My doctor increased my Metformin from 500mg in the morning then 500mg in the afternoon to 1000mg in the morning and 1000mg in the afternoon. I also take a weekly injection of Trulicity to try and  get  my A1C down. I am diabetic. I caught the disease at its early stages. So my A1C was never higher than 7.5. Thankfully my eyesight and kidneys are not effected. However the higher dosages of Metformin I feel are making me feel full. I don’t enjoy food the way I used to. I am 315lbs so over weight. But not enjoying food joins the list of things that I don’t enjoy anymore. I stopped my creative hobbies. I am 52 and first off I don’t have a nearby girlfriend so I don’t have sex anymore. I feel dried up inside. I think those days are over. The only thing that I would enjoy is if those certain people that were in my life at Ingalls group, may reach out again to me. I really would enjoy their face to face friendship. I think I know who they were now. At first I was scared and nervous at that Ingalls  meeting when people representing them were present. I know they were big name people. I am flattered they were reaching out to me, at the time I was just confused and a bit scared. I thought I was in trouble for some reason. I really don’t even know how they arranged that with Ingalls Hospital to have their people present at my group meetings there. God as my witness I am not delusional, this is what happened to me. There really have been events in my past over the years that weird situations have happened. I was a bit concerned when they were happening and did not engage or react.

Losing weight is free

I suppose since I am still waiting on Social Security I will continue to focus on not eating as much as I was and getting my blood work done every three months to check on my A1C. I don’t know if these certain people know about my personal website or are reading this. I may have worn out things between the people that know what went on with me. I was just concerned before. Ill make myself available at my local library on dates and times that I write on the pop up of this site. I assume it was a group of people that know what went on with me, also I have a feeling that some of that group were concerned what I may say about certain past events. I have nothing to say in detail on what events went on years ago. I am hoping that someone out of the group that was at Ingalls will be reading this website and will reach out to me at the library. I won’t be a jerk and will be my natural self. I just need to know who was “my one true friend” . Then  again, maybe that moment has passed. Maybe I should let that go. Ill simply be at the library once every month. If anyone who knows what I am talking about wants to be there, then that would be nice.