Excluded

I feel excluded

This feeling I am feeling sucks. I feel excluded. I would never wish that feeling on anyone. When I was a young man, I was more easy going, less inhibited and was better looking. I was automatically included on many things with my peers. I never had to use that much energy to get myself included. Now, at 52, I am older and I find myself automatically excluded from anything going on with people my own age. I feel sadly isolated. I know there was a group of “big named people” once had an interest in me. I accidently got into some sort of situation with this group of people. I foolishly did not act when they were reaching out to me “my one true friend”, so now I am left out and alone. One thing I am concerned about is  being alone later in life.

I missed many ques

I missed many chances to be part of something bigger than me. These bigger people were trying to make me part of their circle. I foolishly did not act on their efforts. It’s most likely my fault that I am alone. I have maybe 5 friends that know me for decades. I am a solid friend. I still have my parents in my life. They are elderly and I fear when my parents die, I will be all alone with no friends. I keep kicking myself that I did not act on the friendship that was extended to me by that group of people that came into my life at Ingalls. They knew alot about me,  and I am sure they know about this website. I really wish one of the group would read this blog post and my past posts. I am really hurting mentally that I missed a connection with “my one true friend”. I feel like the crazy one after all this happened to me, and I don’t have any answers as to who or why.